TABLE OF CONTENTS
PREFACE
GIVEN A “CLEAN SLATE” AT CONVERSION
I CORINTHIANS 7:20
I CORINTHIANS 7:15
WHAT ABOUT BEFORE CONVERSION?
WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN
UNPARDONABLE SIN?
REMAIN SINGLE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?
MATTHEW 5:28
THE BIBLE IS ONLY FOR BELIEVERS
NUMBERS 5:11-31
JEREMIAH 3:8 & ISAIAH 50:1
HAVING SEX EQUALS MARRIAGE
TRUTH IS TRUTH IS TRUTH! No matter the circumstances
RECAP and WRAP UP
Instead of adding to my original study on “DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE”, I thought it would be better to make this a separate study. If you have not read the other study I highly suggest that you do before you read this. There will be references to the other study throughout this one and if you are not familiar with the “DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE” study you could have a hard time understanding why this is being brought up. This is simply a “Supplement” to my first study. In it I hope to go over some of the “so-called” refutations, justifications and loopholes that have been thrown my way and show “from Scripture(I)” that they are actually not refutations, justifications or loop-holes. But they are misunderstandings or something more devious.
THERE ARE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTRADICTIONS IN SCRIPTURE!! God’s written word is complete from cover to cover with many different writers but only ONE author. IF there appears to be a contradiction it is ONLY because we have not been given to see the truth in that aspect. Let’s face it, while we are still in this flesh there is a lot of baggage that we bring with us that sometimes clouds our minds. Plus, a lot of times we think with our emotions. Not to mention that there are times that we believe something because someone in our past, that we respected, said it and it has always been that way and because of that we don’t look into it. But, when we are given to look further into it then more times than not we find out that there is no scriptural backing for it (i.e., freewill, the celebration of the christ-mass, etc.). The Holy Spirit is the teacher and Jesus promised that He would guide His children into ALL truth. Does that come in an instant? I haven’t found that to be true and I would assume you, the reader, would agree. One thing that I have found to be true is that many times He will point out a fundamental truth and then build upon it. For example, I believe that I was given to see the fundamental truth in the original study on “DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE”. Building on that truth we will see that these “so-called” refutations, justifications or loop-holes that have come up along the way are based on a misunderstanding of Scripture and/or pure emotions but not based on the truth of Scripture.
Let me start this study with these two verses:
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: a good understanding have all they that do his commandments: his praise endureth for ever. (Psalms 111:10)
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7)
The Hebrew word for “fear” means “reverence” and has the understanding of not being afraid of God’s judgment but being fearful of disappointing Him or going against His standards. And notice this reverence or fear is the beginning or first-fruits of when one is given wisdom and knowledge. Both are gifts of the Lord and both have the same initial fruit. When “wisdom” and “knowledge” are given the very first fruit they produce is having a reverence of the most high God. Taking these two verses into consideration it makes me wonder if those who fight tooth and nail to justify getting remarried after getting a divorce or marrying someone who has been divorced have been given “wisdom and knowledge”? Because, to me, it sure doesn’t appear that they have a “fear of the Lord”.
And I believe that this next verse is saying exactly what my fear is above:
But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. (Proverbs 6:32)
Scripture is extremely clear that if someone gets a divorce and then gets remarried to another spouse while their first spouse is still living they ARE committing adultery. The ONLY way that someone can be remarried to another spouse is IF their first spouse is deceased. THAT IS SIMPLY SCRIPTURE!
Second I would like to quote a little writing that I believe fits perfectly in this study.
NEW VERNON N. Y.,
Sept. 15, 1840We are requested by a correspondent to give our views on Romans 7:2, 3. “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then, if while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” From this apostolic exposition of the law of God upon the subject of matrimony, we are fully sustained in asserting that nothing short of the death of the husband can so exonerate the wife from her marriage obligations as to leave her at liberty to marry another man. That cases may and do sometimes occur in which a wife may lawfully separate from her husband, or a husband may put away his wife, we believe the Scriptures are sufficiently clear and to the point. See Matt. 5:32; also 19:9; but in no case do we find authority for such persons to marry again. Cases may occur in which a separation may take place against the will of one of the parties, and not for the cause mentioned, Matt. 19:9; but in such cases the parties are forbidden to marry again. “But unto the married I COMMAND, yet not I, BUT THE LORD, let not the wife depart from her husband; but and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband.” (I Cor. 7:10, 11) “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband Liveth.” (I Cor. 7:39) From the plain testimony of the Scriptures as referred to above, we give it as our decided conviction that no married wife can, under any circumstances whatever, marry another man while her husband is living, without involving herself in the crime of adultery. Nor can a man marry again while his wife lives, without involving the same sin. We do not say, first husband and first wife, for a second marriage does not constitute the parties husband and wife, where this legal impediment exists.
A bill of divorcement, legally obtained, may in the eye of our civil code disannual a former marriage contract, so that, as far as the civil law is concerned, the parties may contract to live in adultery with impunity, and their issue be legally their heirs; but the Bible gives them no such liberty. Nor has the God of heaven given any authority to any earthly legislature to divide asunder what God has joined together.
We could as soon extend our fellowship and approbation to the direct crime of adultery, where no separation has taken place between the husband and wife, as where such separation has taken place, a divorce obtained and the new connection legalized by the marriage of parties where one or both have a living wife or husband.
We know there is a difference of opinion among professors of religion on this subject; but we have ever refused to perform the marriage service, in any such case, as we should as soon connive directly at or countenance the sin of adultery. We hope NEVER TO HEAR OF AN INSTANCE AMONG OLD SCHOOL BAPTISTS; nor can we hold any as Old School Baptists who would thus live in adultery. The very use the apostles makes of this law, in the text at the head of this article, shows that the church of Christ could not be lawfully wedded to Him, in her visible Gospel order, until she became dead unto the law. Her being put away and cursed by her former husband, (the law) did not release her – she must die, and she did die to the law; Christ became the end of the law, for righteousness to every one that believes. We might extend this article; but we hope enough is said to satisfy the mind of our inquiring correspondent.
The quote above is from Elder Gilbert Beebe. It is a short editorial that he wrote entitled “On Marriage”. It was originally published as an editorial in the “Signs of the Times” Volume 8, No. 18 – September 15, 1840. The version that I copied (all of the italics and capital letters were in this copy) was from Beebe’s “Editorials” Volume 1. It was on page 637 of the hardback version which the copy that I have was published by ‘Signs Of The Times, Inc.’ in 1984, with no copyright information in it. It can also be found on pages 345-346 of the electronic “pdf” version that was put together for the “A Sweet Savor” website.
I had read this writing before posting it to the web-site but I did not remember it when I initially started the study on “DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE”. The first and second version of that study was completed when I, by God’s decree and grace, came across it again. I greatly appreciated it because It was simply a wonderful confirmation to me that what I had been given to write was according to God’s truth. I normally do not like to quote other men because I firmly believe Scripture is sufficient. But, with quoting this it shows that what was recorded in Scripture is the exact same truth as what Elder Beebe was given to pen in 1840 and by God’s grace what I was given to pen starting in 2019. TRUTH DOESN’t CHANGE!!! Though sadly Beebe would be sorely disappointed because it has infiltrated the Old School Baptist with the members and even to the point of the Elders. I know of at least three Elders who are have been divorced and remarried or married a divorced woman. Very sad indeed!
An interesting little tidbit about this writing from Beebe is that someone we knew who was currently divorced and remarried and their current spouse was divorced previously as well sent a copy of the writing to us thinking it might be a blessing to us, not realizing that it was already on the web-site. We thought at the time that the Lord was doing a work of grace in this person’s heart and this person was seeing the hypocritical aspect of their lifestyle. In fact this person had told us that they had been given a “conviction” by the Lord concerning this truth. And for a time this person was in agreement with what we believe Scripture to clearly teach on the matter and what I had attempted to write down in the study “DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE” but sadly this person is now in stark disagreement with it and us.
There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. (Proverbs 30:12)
This is just one of many verses that clearly proclaim the vanity of man. It was true when it was written and is as true today and seen everyday in mankind! They don’t need anyone to teach them and do not listen to any one. They have all the answers. Even if proved wrong from Scripture it doesn’t phase them because they don’t care about what Scripture has to say! Why? Because they are still unclean and have not been washed from their filthiness.
This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. (II Timothy 3:1-5)
Paul is warning Timothy of how men will be in the “last days”. Look at the list that he gives:
That is quite a list and yet I don’t believe it is all comprehensive. I just want to focus on a few of them that I believe fit into this study.
“Lovers of their own selves” This basically means they are “selfish”. They don’t care what others think and they do what they want to do. They put their own needs and wants above EVERYTHING else including what God has to say on a matter.
“Boasters” This is a braggart. This person loves to brag and boast of what they do. Whether it’s right or wrong they love the sound of their voice and unfortunately more often than not displaying publicly their depravity.
“Proud” This is someone who is haughty or in other words thinks they are above everyone else. I once knew someone who was in a relationship with a much younger love interest. When confronted with it, all they could say was “But it’s me”. In other words it didn’t matter what God’s word says or what the law says because it involved them.
“Unholy” To be holy is to be set apart. Being “unholy” is the negative of that so it means to “not be set apart”. Divorce & Remarriage is rampant amongst the world and in fact is not even winked at any more. Just like in all sects of religious establishments it is not even questioned anymore. It is just a matter of fact now and something that most do not even think about.
“Without natural affection” This means “hard hearted towards kindred” and can be summarized in one word – unloving.
“Fierce” The Greek word means “savage”.
“Despisers of those that are good” The Greek word for this phrase means “hostile to virtue”.
“Heady” The Greek word means “impulsive, rash, reckless”
These next comments are taking these last four traits as a whole. I can’t tell you how much hate email I have received since I was given to post the first version of the study on “DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE”. People have been fierce, hostile and very unloving towards me. And what is most interesting is that most of the time, they don’t prove their point from Scripture. Some have thrown out a verse they think disproves it and yet do not take the time to show “why they think” and/or “how they think” it disproves it. But, unfortunately, most that disagree just resort to name calling and leave it at that.(II)
This current study is based solely on so-called refutations, justifications and loop-holes on how one can still call themselves a “Christian” and yet be divorced and remarried. All of these traits above fit because when God’s word is so very clear on the issue of “Divorce & Remarriage” and yet some want to still try and skirt around it, shows that all of these traits are alive and well within them to some degree.
I charge thee therefore before God, and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing and his kingdom; preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; and they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables. (II Timothy 4:1-4)
Paul is making a “charge” here. The Greek word for “charge” means “to attest or protest earnestly” and is translated as “charge, testify, witness” throughout the Scriptures. Please notice though that the word “thee” is italicized so it was added which means that this “charge” is not just to Timothy. Yes, the letter was written to Timothy but this “charge” goes out to all believers. This “charge” is set before God which clearly screams of importance! The “charge” is to “preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.”
By God’s design and grace, Paul doesn’t stop there with simply the “charge” but he also explains the “why”. He continues with “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; and they shall turn away ears from the truth,...” I don’t know about you but I see this everyday now. One aspect of it fits with this study. In the initial study “DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE” I believe I was given to outline the Scriptural truth of the topic. Yet, I hope by God’s grace this Supplement will be profitable because of so many not enduring sound doctrine and trying to find loop-holes to get around the truth and to do what they want to do.
And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the LORD Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. (Colossians 3:17) [bold emphasis added]
Paul is writing to the Colossian brethren and reminding them of a truth. He says that “whatsoever ye do in word or deed”. This means exactly what it is saying – “whatever you say or whatever you do”. In other words whatever comes out of our mouth and every single action you do on a daily, hourly, minute by minute routine. There are no exclusions here! Every single word and every single action is to be done “all in the name of the LORD Jesus”. So, please tell me how a believer in Jesus Christ can willingly continue in an adulterous relationship and do it “in the name of the LORD Jesus”?
Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works... For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. (James 2:18, 26)
These two verses are a work-mongers nightmare. Oh, they love to quote them but they misconstrue their meaning. These verses are boldly proclaiming that when someone has the faith of Christ given them THEN there WILL BE works as fruit or evidence to proclaim that faith. When someone is given faith, thus they come to know who they truly are and who Jesus truly is, then there is an overwhelming joy that envelops them. Because of what He did for them they have a desire (not a duty) to please Him in ALL that they do. This includes stopping what they know is wrong to do. It can be a multitude of things but includes getting out of an adulterous relationship.
My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. (I John 3:18)
John is writing to a specific group. He is writing to “My little children”. He has an affection for the believers and refers to them as his children. He then includes himself in what he is proclaiming. He does not say “You should not ...” but he says “let US not ...” He is not pointing his finger at them and condemning them. He is imploring them that this is something ALL are to do including himself. He implores them to “not love in word, neither in tongue;” With this he is simply saying that the love of the Lord and the love for the brethren is not to be shown by words only. Some people know how to say “the right things” but unfortunately those sayings are simply that, just sayings with no true feelings behind them. John completes this thought with “but in deed and in truth.” Love of the brethren and Love for the Lord is to be shown in “deed and in truth.” This is in complete harmony with what Paul tells the Colossian brethren as mentioned above and also what James was given to write. There is no difference here. And Jesus was very clear when He said:
If ye love me, keep my commandments. (John 14:15)
He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. (John 14:21)
If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love. (John 15:10)
This is NOT a DUTY for a believer to do. NO! this is FRUIT of being a believer! And will be present in ALL believers!
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. (Galatians 5:19-25)
The “works of the flesh” are mentioned first. The first four are perfect examples of this and three of them fit into our study on “Divorce & Remarriage”. Scripturally there is “adultery” taking place when this occurs. With “adultery” there is uncleanness or “impurity” on the active participant. And “lasciviousness” is short to follow. I will touch more on the meaning of that word in the next verse reference below. Then there are reactions to these four actions that take place. There is “hatred” which is explanatory by itself but also has the meaning of “hostility”. There is “variance” which means quarrelsome or contention. There is “wrath” which means “fierceness or indignation”. These are but a few traits of “the flesh” and more specifically of men and women who have taken objection to the initial study “DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE” and I have been the recipient of their attacks. I will stop there but hopefully you get the picture.
For there are certain men crept in unawares, who were before of old ordained to this condemnation, ungodly men, turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness, and denying the only Lord God, and our Lord Jesus Christ. (Jude 1:4)
In the verses quoted above from the book of Galatians we see that a work of the flesh is “lasciviousness”. Here Jude warns of men that have “crept in unawares...turning the grace of our God into lasciviousness”. The Greek word means “licentiousness”. Vines says this about the word “lasciviousness”: it “denotes “excess, licentiousness, absence of restraint, indecency, wantonness”. There are two words that I was not familiar with their proper meaning so I looked them up in the 1828 Webster’s Dictionary:
Licentiousness – “Excessive indulgence of liberty; contempt of the just restraints of law, morality and decorum.”
Wantonness – “Licentiousness; negligence of restraint. The tumults threatened to abuse all acts of grace, and turn them into wantonness.”
Basically what I am understanding the verse in Jude to mean is that “certain men crept in unawares (disguising themselves as believers) and are teaching that because one has been forgiven by the Grace of God they now have a license or liberty to continue in sin.” Divorce & Remarriage is why I brought this verse up because I believe it is part of what Jude is talking about and the men “crept in unawares” are those that promote and glory in the so-called ability to get divorced and remarried. But that is not all of it. It includes homosexuality, wife-swapping, drunkenness, idolatry, etc. Basically what Jude is speaking and warning about includes ALL of the “works of the flesh” that Paul brings up in Galatians. There is nothing new under the sun and if men were creeping in during Jude’s day they are still creeping in today and are “ravenous wolves in sheep’s clothing” (Matthew 7:15).
I have not written unto you because ye know not the truth, but because ye know it, and that no lie is of the truth. (I John 2:21)
I am ending the preface with this verse. I hope it is true of those that are given to fully read this study, that you do know the truth.
I hope I have been given to proclaim the truth of God’s word on this important subject. I do not claim infallibility by any stretch of the word. I am human and not even close to being perfect but hopefully still growing in grace(III). I have simply proclaimed what I believe the Lord has shown me and by His grace continuing to show me. Please do as scripture exhorts and prove (test) all things but I implore you that your test be kept strictly with what scripture says and not according to what other men say or have said or what any tradition says. Please see Acts 17:10-12, 1 Thessalonians 5:21 and 1 John 4:1.
Thomas R. Adams
This term “A CLEAN SLATE” is a mid nineteenth century term. It’s original meaning was because the local pub or grocery store would keep a debt recorded on a slate (chalkboard) of their customers. Once that debt was paid in full than the debt would be erased and the slate would now be clean.
Jesus paid the debt of ALL His children by dying on the cross and becoming sin! At the precise time ordained of old, a child of God is born again. At that time he(IV) comes to realize his sin and the debt that he has accumulated because of his sin and sinful lifestyle. His slate is now wiped clean and as Paul says to the Roman brethren: “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. (Romans 8:1)”
Let me say it again: There is now no condemnation to a child of grace!! The word “condemnation” is a noun and literally means “adverse sentence – the verdict”. With the negative word “no” before it, it simply means that there is no verdict because of Jesus paying their debt and thus their “slate” has now been wiped clean! That is such a glorious statement! Take time to meditate on that wonderful truth!!
There are a couple of things that I need to mention here. This promise is only directed at those “which are in Christ Jesus”. Then Paul clarifies who it is he is referring to. Those “which are in Christ Jesus” are those “who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”
When one is born again (anew, from on high) and is given to see that their debt has now been wiped clean their whole desire in life is to please Him who paid that debt. Thus they no longer desire to “walk...after the flesh, but after the Spirit.” This is not talking about something that “has” to be done, or in other words a “work” or “duty” that needs to be done. NO! this is talking about the FRUIT of what has already been done.
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. (Galatians 6:7-8)
Even though there is now no condemnation to those who have their slate wiped clean, there is still consequences to their prior sin, current sin and future sin. If an alcoholic has completely ruined his liver because of all the alcohol he has consumed and becomes born again, his liver doesn’t automatically become new as well. He still will have to live with the consequences of his prior life. If a drug addict contracts HIV from a needle that he used in the past and then becomes born again, he will still have to live with HIV for the rest of his life. But the people in either of these examples, if they be truly born again, will have NOT have a desire anymore to continue in their prior lifestyle but will have a desire to please the LORD in ALL they do!
What are they erroneously referring to when making the statement “given a clean slate” in reference to our topic of “Divorce & Remarriage”? This statement is saying basically two very strong statements.
#1 If someone is divorced (with their spouse still living(V)) and then, by God’s grace, becomes born again and comes to a saving knowledge of God then their “slate” is wiped clean and they are now free to remarry without worry of committing adultery.
#2 When a man and woman are married, with one or both of them having been previously married and divorced (with their spouse still living), and one or both, by God’s grace, become born again and come to a saving knowledge of God then their “slate” is wiped clean and they are NO LONGER committing adultery. In other words their adulterous relationship has miraculously become clean and sanctified.
Both of these statements, from a worldly perspective, are a wonderful sentiment. But, are they scriptural? Are they the truth?
I believe, by God’s grace, I was given to show in the original study on “DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE” how that the ONLY clause or loophole, if you will, to getting remarried is if there has been a death. ANYONE who remarries after a divorce or marries a divorced person, while their divorced spouse is still alive, is committing adultery. So why would it be okay for someone in this situation, if they become born again and come to a saving knowledge of God, that they can stay in this adulterous relationship without sinning? Or they can now get married to someone else without committing the sin of adultery?
What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? (Romans 6:1-2)
According to these verses, when a child of grace is converted and becomes born again they are now dead to sin. Yes, we are ALL sinners. But, a child of grace has no desire to continue to “live any longer therein” in a sinful relationship nor in a sinful lifestyle. There is a HUGE difference between “committing” sin and willfully “living” in sin. Living in sin is a conscience effort on our part where committing sin happens because of who we are. A believer sins because he is a sinner but one who desires to “live” in a sinful lifestyle is making a mockery of God’s grace thinking that the more they sin the more grace God will shower on them.
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the LORD Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. (I Corinthians 6:9-11)
There is a list in this passage as quoted above showing the acts and lifestyles of those who are the unrighteous. Notice that one of them is “adulterers”. Those that have divorced their spouse and married another or married a divorced person ARE (present tense) committing adultery and therefore ARE (present tense) adulterers. The key phrase in the above passage is “such WERE some of you...” [bold and underline emphasis added]. If one is born again and comes to a saving knowledge of God they will NOT continue in the same lifestyle of sin. Yes, they will continue to sin because that is our flesh but they will not willingly continue in an adulterous relationship. They will not willingly continue in idolatry. They will not willingly continue in fornicating. Etc., etc. Why? Not because it is a “have to” or “duty” but it is a “I see my sin and I want nothing more to do with it!” In other words it is FRUIT of God’s saving grace!
This I say therefore, and testify in the LORD, that ye henceforth walk not as other Gentiles walk, in the vanity of their mind, having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart: Who being past feeling have given themselves over unto lasciviousness, to work all uncleanness with greediness. But ye have not so learned Christ; if so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:17-32)
But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you. Being then made free from sin, ye became the servants of righteousness. I speak after the manner of men because of the infirmity of your flesh: for as ye have yielded your members servants to uncleanness and to iniquity unto iniquity; even so now yield your members servants to righteousness unto holiness. For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness. What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death. But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life. For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our LORD. (Romans 6:17-23)
Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience: In the which ye also walked some time, when ye lived in them. But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy communication out of your mouth. Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds; and have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him: (Colossians 3:5-10)
I don’t believe this topic of being “GIVEN A CLEAN SLATE” is a refutation at all. I honestly think people use it as a so-called loophole to get around (in their own mind and conscience) the truths of Scripture. And to justify them continuing to live in sin. I hope I have shown that here.
Here is the scenario:
A man and woman are married and one or both have been previously divorced. According to the current civil law, it is a valid marriage. One or both of them come to a saving knowledge of God and because of that they come to realize and grieve over their sin: past, present and future. Is it Scriptural for them to stay in that “marriage”?
Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. (I Corinthians 7:20)
This is the main verse I want to focus on in this study. This verse along with two others (17, 24) that are similar in the same section as this verse taken all by themselves have been used, and I believe used improperly, to justify those who were divorced and remarried “before” conversion to stay in that marriage. Let’s take a little time to go over the context of these verses, which pretty much is the whole chapter, to see what they are truly saying.
Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment. (I Corinthians 7:1-6)
This whole chapter is about marriage between a man and woman. Paul goes back and forth giving the reasons for and benefits of marriage but also the reasons for and the benefits of not being married. Paul’s first comment is “good for a man NOT to touch a woman.” [bold emphasis added]. But Paul knows our nature and he continues with “Nevertheless...” It is a concession and he is saying that even though he knows it is “good for a man not to touch a woman”, he also knows it is better to avoid fornication. And so he says; “Nevertheless...let every man have his own wife and let every woman have her own husband.” He then keeps going and basically shows that in a marriage, your body, your time, your money, your everything is not your own. Everything is to be shared. It is no longer “MINE” but it is now “OURS”.
For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the LORD, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the LORD: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? (I Corinthians 7:7-16)
Paul stresses here again that it is better to remain unmarried. But, he realizes that not everyone has the gift of celibacy like he does. So, he was given to put down some guidelines to those who get married or are already married. It can be pretty much summed up with these five words: “They are to stay together.” Divorce is not an option. Even if an unbelieving spouse should leave they are still to remain married. If that happens, the wife is to remain single (as in “not living together” only) or be reconciled to her husband and the husband is NOT to put away (divorce) his wife. He does not have that liberty! Paul then emphasizes the importance of staying together.
Continuing on with our passage in I Corinthians:
Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the LORD: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the LORD to be faithful. I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it is good for a man so to be. Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you. But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; and they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; and they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away. But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the LORD, how he may please the LORD: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the LORD, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the LORD without distraction. But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. Nevertheless he that standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. So then he that giveth her in marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better. The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the LORD. But she is happier if she so abide, after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God. (I Corinthians 7:25-40)
I jumped ahead on purpose. The reason is because I wanted to show that Paul starts this chapter off with the differences between being single and being married. And he finishes this chapter showing the same but I feel he was even more direct in this last section. In the first part of this passage quoted above Paul says: “Art thou loosed from a wife? Seek not a wife.” This is NOT speaking of being put away or being divorced. There is only one legitimate “loosing” and that is by the death of the spouse. Paul clarifies this towards the end of the chapter when he says: “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the LORD.”
But as God hath distributed to every man, as the LORD hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. Is any man called being circumcised? let him not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments of God. Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. Art thou called being a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather. For he that is called in the LORD, being a servant, is the LORD’s freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free, is Christ’s servant. Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God. (I Corinthians 7:17-24)
We must take into consideration ALL that Paul was given to write before this section and after this section. This whole chapter is about the differences between being married and being single. Paul stresses throughout and points out that each have positive and negative aspects to them. Because of that is why Paul says here in verse 17: “But as God hath distributed to every man, as the LORD hath called every one, so let him walk.”, verse 20: “Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called.” and verse 24: “Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.” [bold emphasis added].
Paul is saying here that when a man is called and is married that he should remain or abide as married and not seek to be single. This is NOT saying though that when a man is called and he is currently married to someone who has been divorced or he is divorced, thus living in an adulterous relationship, that he should abide.
But ye have not so learned Christ; if so be that ye have heard him, and have been taught by him, as the truth is in Jesus: That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts; and be renewed in the spirit of your mind; and that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:20-32) [bold emphasis added]
What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? (Romans 6:1-2) [bold emphasis added]
Does the thief who comes to a saving knowledge of Christ have the liberty to continue in his lifestyle of thievery? Does the con artist who comes to a saving knowledge of Christ have the liberty continue in his lifestyle of conning people? Does the prostitute (fornicator) who comes to a saving knowledge of Christ have the liberty to continue selling her body for profit? Does the adulterer who comes to a saving knowledge of Christ have the liberty to continue in adultery? ABSOLUTELY NOT! We can safely enter any and all of these lifestyles, and many more, into our verse above from Ephesians. It could just as easily said “Let him that conned con no more:” or “Let her that prostituted prostitute no more:” etc., etc. In fact if he/she has been convicted of that sin then he/she would want nothing more to do with it! Just like the sin of adultery. Scripture is extremely clear that when a man is divorced and marries another he is committing adultery. Also, when a woman is divorced and marries another she is committing adultery. And they both are causing their new spouse to commit adultery. This truth does not change no matter the circumstances. There are no loopholes or get-arounds in this. It doesn’t matter if this occurred before conversion or after conversion. Either way, the new so-called “marriage” is invalid and adultery is continually being committed.
Here is the scenario:
A couple are married and one of them comes to a saving knowledge of God. This person is extremely excited about the truth they have been shown and as fruit of that they start living a different life. They put aside their sinful behavior and start living for Jesus. Their spouse is not on board and wants nothing to do with this new person. So, they leave. Is the new believer at liberty to divorce their spouse and get remarried? Or if their spouse files for divorce after leaving, are they at liberty to get remarried?
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (I Corinthians 7:15)
The immediate context of our verse is this:
For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the LORD, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the LORD: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? (I Corinthians 7:7-16)
Let’s take a little time to go over this section of Paul’s letter. I briefly “touched” on this section of Scripture in the above study but I wanted to dig into it a little further for this study.
For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. (I Corinthians 7:7)
When Paul says “I would that all men were even as I myself” he is referring to being single. But he realizes that it is a gift given by God to be able to stay single without sinning. He also knows that each person is given different gifts and that not all have the same gift as him, the gift of celibacy. After stating this truth Paul then directs his next comments to two specific groups of believers. Those two groups are the “unmarried and widows” and the “married”. Verses 8 and 9 are directed to the “unmarried and married” group. Verses 10 through 16 are directed to the “married” group.
I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. (I Corinthians 7:8)
Paul identifies his first group that he is speaking to as those that are “unmarried and widows”. These first comments are directed to a group of believers that have lost their spouse in death. Why can I say that? Because Paul links the “unmarried with the “widows” with the word “and”. The Greek word for “unmarried” is in the ‘masculine’ gender. That means that he is speaking to men who are not married due to having lost their wives through a death. Secondly, he is speaking to the widows. The Greek word for “widows” is in the ‘feminine’ gender. So, a widow is a female who has lost her spouse through a death. In other words he is speaking to both males and females who have been married in the past and at some time their spouse passed away and is no longer with them. We would say it today in this vernacular: “I say therefore to the widowers and widows,”. It is the same category of someone who has lost a spouse but identifying both genders.
He is very direct in what he tells them: “It is good for them if they abide even as I.” What does he mean? He means that it is good (valuable or virtuous) for them to stay single. Why? He deals with that reason later in this same chapter.
But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the LORD, how he may please the LORD: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife. (I Corinthians 7:32-33)
The reason Paul tells them that “it is good for them if they abide even as I” is not a selfish reason. It is because if they stay single their time is devoted to the things of the LORD. On the other hand if they should get married again, their time will be devoted to pleasing their spouse.
But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. (I Corinthians 7:9)
Paul concludes his remarks to this group with this statement. He knows that not everyone has the gift of celibacy. Therefore to not put any extra stress on the group he gives them permission to marry if they cannot stay single without sinning.
Paul then continues and concludes with the second group: “The married”.
And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the LORD, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. (I Corinthians 7:10-11)
Notice right away that what Paul is saying is a “command” and not a request. Paul made a request to the first group but to this second group he is giving a command from the LORD. Paul is very clear that the wife is NOT to depart from her husband. We see that clearly in Scripture and thus that is why Paul says the command comes from the LORD and not him.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)
And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:4-6)
Paul, knowing the sinfulness and weakness of the flesh continues with “But and if she depart...” There can be a multitude of reasons that the wife would depart. The reason doesn’t really matter or else Paul would give examples here. No matter the reasoning behind it, she is to “remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband”. She is to remain unmarried and by that she is to devote her time to serving the LORD. This does not give her freedom to go out and live a reckless and seductive lifestyle. And the husband does not have liberty to divorce her or put her away. No, he is to devote his time to serving the LORD as well. In God’s eyes they are still married.
But to the rest speak I, not the LORD: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? (I Corinthians 7:12-16)
Within the “married” group there are two sub-categories. The first one is the married couples who are both believers. The second one is married couples where one is a believer and the other is not. We are now talking about the second sub-category. That is why Paul starts off this with “But to the rest...” And notice with this one he starts it off with saying “speak I, not the LORD”. Does that mean that what is said is not coming from the LORD? No that is not what that is saying at all. What Paul was given to write is by inspiration of the Holy Spirit and thus it is from the LORD. What he means here is that these scenarios he is about to bring up are not addressed in Scripture. So, he is giving his understanding of the truth and how it relates.
If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. (I Corinthians 7:12b-13)
What this is referring to is when a man or woman who is married and then comes to the knowledge of saving grace in their life but their spouse does not. Paul is stressing here that it is still a valid marriage. Because of that if the unbelieving spouse desires to continue in the marriage then the believing spouse should honor that request and stay in the marriage. The believing spouse does not have the freedom or liberty to put away or divorce their unbelieving spouse. And hopefully this goes without saying, but I feel I should still address it. These verses are NOT saying that a believer who is single can go out and marry a non-believer and not be in sin. They do not have that freedom nor liberty to do such a thing.
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (II Corinthians 6:14)
This verse from Paul’s second letter to the Corinthian brethren is very clear that a believer is not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. This verse has many other applications than marriage but it still fits with marriage. This verse does not contradict our verses we are looking at in I Corinthians. They are speaking about two completely separate situations. This verse in II Corinthians is speaking about something that hasn’t happened yet and warning against it happening. But, if we go back to the last part of verse 12 from I Corinthians chapter 7 it says: “If any brother hath a wife...” [bold emphasis added]. And then again in verse 13: “the woman which hath an husband...” [bold emphasis added]. This word “hath” is in the ‘present’ tense and is pointing to a situation that was already or currently in effect and not something that would be in the future.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. (I Corinthians 7:14)
Here Paul gives the reason why he felt comfortable saying that the believing spouse doesn’t have the freedom or liberty to leave the unbelieving spouse if they are willing to stay with them. The unbeliever is sanctified by the believer. This “sanctification” is NOT the same as when God sanctifies one of His own and saves them. This has the same aspect of what Paul brings up in his first letter to Timothy. He is warning Timothy that in the latter days men will depart from the faith, they will give ears to seducing spirits and doctrines of devils. They will go so far as to forbid marrying and command their followers to abstain from certain meats (I Timothy 4:1-3). Because of that Paul says this to Timothy:
For every creature of God is good, and nothing to be refused, if it be received with thanksgiving: For it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer. (I Timothy 4:4-5)
Paul is reassuring Timothy that EVERY creature of God is good for food and is not to be refused because it “is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.” This is simply saying that the meat is set apart for use and is lawful to eat. Getting back to our verse in I Corinthians, Paul is not saying that the unbelieving spouse is now saved but he is saying that the marriage is lawful, not sinful and set apart to the glory of God because of the believing spouse going to the word of God and praying for their marriage.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. (I Corinthians 7:15)
Now we get to the verse in question. This is still pointing to the marriage between a believer and an unbeliever. It is still the same as the verse above where the marriage is lawful and not sinful. But, in this case the unbelieving spouse does not want to stay and abide with the believing spouse. That is the ONLY distinction between this verse and verses 12 through 14. Keeping that in mind let’s look at the verse more in-depth. The reason for them departing is not given, so obviously it is not important, but nonetheless the unbelieving spouse does depart. When that happens, Paul tells the believing spouse to “let him depart”. If and when that happens the brother (believing husband) or sister (believing wife) is not under bondage. What does the word bondage mean in relation to this verse.
When Paul says “A brother or sister is not under bondage in such” he does NOT mean that if the unbelieving spouse leaves that the believing spouse is “not under bondage” to that marriage anymore and is free to divorce their spouse that left and get remarried. (Unfortunately I just learned of a church who adheres to this rendering of this verse and has put it into practice – very sad indeed!) If that was what Paul meant then he flat out contradicted himself from an earlier verse and it makes verse 16 null and void.
This verse means that the believing spouse is not under duress or bondage to make the unbelieving spouse stay or try and persuade them to stay. Paul finishes this thought with: “but God hath called us to peace”. Instead of demanding, pleading, begging, or anything else to try and persuade them to stay, the believing spouse is to let them go and be peaceful about it. Why?
For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? (I Corinthians 7:16)
Paul answers the “why” question beautifully. When a believer is married to an unbeliever and the unbeliever desires to leave the believer is to let them go without a fight. Is it because they no longer love them? Is it because they don’t want to be married to an unbeliever any more? Neither of those are the reason Paul gives. The reason Paul gives is because we don’t know the future. We have no idea what is around the corner. And by the actions of the believer it may be the catalyst that the Lord uses to open the unbeliever’s eyes to the truth and save them. It may not happen right away but may take some time. That is why the believer does NOT have the freedom or liberty to get remarried. Because IF the unbelieving spouse comes to the knowledge of saving grace then they are to go back to their believing spouse.
Another aspect of “why” the believer is to let the unbeliever go without a fight is what he says to the Ephesian brethren in his letter to them.
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:12)
Our fight is not against flesh and blood. In other words our fight is not against other humans. But it is against what we can’t see with our physical eyes. Peter in his first letter says something very similar to what Paul told the Corinthian brethren.
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. (I Peter 3:1-2)
Some might claim that the word bondage has correlation with verse 39 of the same chapter. And thus they are free to divorce and remarry after the unbelieving spouse leaves them.
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the LORD. (I Corinthians 7:39) [underline emphasis added]
Please take notice that in verse 39 Paul was given to be VERY specific. He says “the wife is bound by the law” to that marriage. There is only one clause that is able to disannul that contract and it is death. Paul is VERY clear about this! But, IF death occurs THEN “she is at liberty to be married to whom she will;”. But even in that “liberty” there is a clause that needs to be adhered to and that is the new marriage is to be “only in the LORD.” The new spouse MUST be a believer and be of one accord. The word “only” means “only, exclusively”. So, here we see Paul giving an exemption to get remarried after death but there is NO exemption given in verse 15. Because of that I completely disagree with this notion that these two verses are related. I don’t believe verse 15 gives that liberty or freedom to be married again. For starters as I stated above the ONLY distinction between this situation and the ones above it is that the unbeliever departs instead of staying. The marriage is still a lawful and set apart marriage just like the marriage outlined in verses 10 and 11 which show that both are believers. Secondly the Greek words for “bondage” and “bound” are two completely different words.
The Greek word for “Bondage” means “to be enslaved or a servant to”. Paul makes it clear earlier in this chapter that in a marriage each person is not in control over his or her own body. They each belong to the other and their sole desire is to please each other especially when it speaks of sexual intimacy. While married they are to serve one another on a daily basis putting their spouse’s needs above their own. And they are not to deprive one another of that intimate act except for prayer and fasting. But, that break is only to be for a short time and it is to be consensual. In essence they are enslaved or a servant to one another. But, this is NOT the case when an unbelieving spouse departs.
On the other hand the Greek word for “Bound” in verse 39 means “to bind, tied to or knit to”. To me it has a picture of husband and wife with both their hands tied to each other. Neither one of them can (are able to because their hands are tied together) untie or unloose the straps. We see this same thought mentioned in the very first book of the Bible.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)
And Jesus reiterates it as recorded in the Gospel of Mark:
What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mark 10:9)
Only 5 verses before verse 15 Paul says: “And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the LORD, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. (I Corinthians 7:10-11) These verses are speaking of two believers in a lawful and set apart marriage. Paul is extremely clear that if one departs, that one is to “remain unmarried” and the one that stayed CAN NOT “put away” the departed one. With this verse being so clear, why would one interpret Paul to say that it is okay for someone who is in a lawful and set apart marriage to get a divorce and remarry someone else if their unbelieving spouse departs? Paul was not a double-minded man! Not to mention the very next verse is “For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?” (I Corinthians 7:16) IF a believer is free to remarry after an unbelieving spouse leaves then this verse makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. But, if we follow what Paul has outlined before this then it makes perfect sense. Because as stated above, if the Lord should grant repentance to the unbeliever and they want to come back to the marriage, there would be nowhere for them to go IF the believer was free to remarry.
Scenario #1: A man and/or a woman was married, divorced and remarried before God converted him and/or her? Is their current marriage legitimate?
Scenario #2: A man and/or a woman was married and then divorced before God converted him and/or her? Is he and/or she now at liberty to get remarried?
Scenario #3: A man and woman were divorced, with both spouses still living, prior to meeting and getting married to each other. Then one, or both, came to a saving knowledge of God and because of this they were given to realize that their current “marriage” was not valid and they were currently living in an adulterous state. Do they have the liberty to stay in this adulterous relationship?
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the LORD Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.” (I Corinthians 6:9-11)
I bring these verses up to show that before conversion many people were many things and did many actions that they now view as sinful. And notice that those that continue in those actions shall not inherit the kingdom of God. With regards to the topic of this writing, please note that one of those actions in this section of verses is the act of adultery. Paul then ends the list by saying “such were some of you: but...” [bold and underline emphasis addedem>] There is a distinction between “before conversion” and “after conversion”. Paul gives a list of lifestyles that are considered sinful but clarifies that with the believer “such were some of you.” The term “were” is in the past tense, therefore the believer is no longer whatever they “were” before.
The answer to “Scenario #1” is NO! It is not a legitimate marriage. They are currently committing adultery. In our verses above the act of adultery was in the past tense but in “Scenario #1” it would be in the present tense.
The answer to “Scenario #2” is also NO! They DO NOT have the liberty to remarry. If they were to remarry then they would be committing adultery.
Paul is very clear that those that are currently participating in such actions “shall” NOT “inherit the kingdom of God.”
Let me interject a side note here before I go on to Scenario #3. I firmly believe that my answers to both these scenarios are correct and I hope you do as well. In Scenario #1, and the third one as well, we are talking about someone before their conversion and how their remarriage is still adultery. We are talking about someone who got divorced and then remarried BEFORE their conversion. Some might say it was because they didn’t know any better and yet Scripturally it is still adultery. So, my question is – How then can someone who claims to be converted and claims to know the truth, still go and think it is okay to get remarried after they have been divorced or marry someone who has been divorced? Since one who is divorced and remarried before conversion is committing adultery how much worse is it for the one who already claims to be a believer? There’s no excuse! Along the same line but I believe a step up from my question above is – How can an Elder be married to a divorced woman, divorce his wife and get remarried to another woman or even wish “God’s blessing” upon a marriage between someone who has been divorced? I can’t judge whether they are truly converted or not but I can’t in good conscience call them brethren.
Now on to “Scenario #3”. There’s a little more involved with this scenario. As you read the scenario I hope you were given to notice that at least one, if not both, have been given to see that their current so-called “marriage” is not a valid marriage because the spouse they divorced or were divorced from is still currently alive. And because of that they also have been given to see that they are currently living in an adulterous relationship. They cannot claim ignorance like the two prior scenario’s might.
To answer the question from this scenario is very clear and it is a resounding “NO! they do not have that liberty!” Think about it for a moment in light of some different circumstances. If a prostitute is given to see that he or she is a filthy sinner and in need of a savior and by God’s grace comes to a saving knowledge of God what would be their first action? Their whole state of being would be to please God in all they do and thus walk away from their “profession” because they have been given to see it’s sinfulness. If a thief is given to see that he or she is a filthy sinner and in need of a savior and by God’s grace comes to a saving knowledge of God what would be their first action? It would be exactly like the prostitute. So, in our scenario above regarding the two who are married but have been convinced by the Lord that they are committing adultery in this so-called marriage, what would be their first action? It would also be just like the prostitute. Because they now see themselves as filthy sinners in need of a savior and because of the grace that God has showered upon them they would want nothing to do with their sin, thus they would end their state of adultery.
If ye love me, keep my commandments. (John 14:15)
Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him. He that loveth me not keepeth not my sayings: and the word which ye hear is not mine, but the Father’s which sent me. (John 14:23-24)
I don’t know how you read these verses above, but to me they are as plain as day. Jesus is telling His children that they are to obey His words and IF they are His then they WILL obey! It is not a DUTY but it is FRUIT or proof of a new life. Here is an example of exactly what I am talking about:
And many that believed came, and confessed, and shewed their deeds. Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver. (Acts 19:18-19)
This is a group whom God opened their eyes to their filthiness and sinfulness. Because of that and the grace He showered upon them what did they do? They took their books that they had accumulated in regards to their sinful life and burned them before men. They did this to show their love for the Lord God Almighty and they had absolutely NO concern for the loss of these objects nor concern for the value of the items they were discarding in a very public form. They didn’t care because what they did was “fruit” or “proof” of their new life! And they wanted it publicly known that they were discarding their previous life for a new life in Jesus Christ!
Jesus did not skirt around the topic of adultery and it is recorded in all of the gospels that He addressed it. Here is but one example of Him very clearly stating, in His own words, that this scenario we are discussing is in fact adultery.
And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her. And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery. (Mark 10:11-12)
These two verses are extremely clear. Please look closely at them. Jesus deals with both the male gender and the female gender. To the males He says “Whosoever” which is all-inclusive. By that I mean it is referencing every male that is married and includes both believers and non-believers. And to the females He says “And if a woman” which refers to any woman who is married and includes both believers and non-believers. He then says essentially the same thing to both genders – If you put away your spouse or are put away by your spouse and marry another you are committing adultery. And you are causing your new spouse to commit adultery.
Is adultery an unforgivable sin? Absolutely not! But when someone who is actively committing adultery, is convicted of that sin, granted repentance of that sin and confesses that sin before the almighty God then that person will no longer want anything to do with that sin. I’m not saying it would be easy but I am saying that IF one is truly born from above then their love for the Savior will out-weigh their love for their adulterous relationship. And because of that they will remove themselves from that situation.
Let me end this section with these two verses:
For the love of Christ constraineth us; because we thus judge, that if one died for all, then were all dead: And that he died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again. (II Corinthians 5:14-15)
IF we are His then we are no longer to live unto ourselves. We are to live unto Him no matter the cost or inconvenience. We are to do what He has commanded and not what is comfortable or easy and we are especially not to do what is accepted by the majority as acceptable when His word condemns it.
He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy. (Proverbs 28:13)
To them that “are washed, ... are sanctified,” and “are justified in the name of the LORD Jesus, and by the Spirit of God (I Corinthians 6:11)”. If you cover your sins, adultery in this case, you shall not prosper! But, if you confess your sins AND forsake those sins you shall have mercy!
Here is the scenario:
A man and woman were divorced, with both spouses still living, prior to meeting and getting married to each other. This relationship resulted with a child or children. Then one, or both, came to a saving knowledge of God and because of this they were given to realize that their current “marriage” was not valid and they were currently living in an adulterous state. Should they stay married because of the child or children?
This scenario is basically the same as “Scenario #3” in the above section “WHAT ABOUT BEFORE CONVERSION” except for one detail. This scenario includes children. If you haven’t read the above section please do so before reading this one.
So, let me ask the question: Does having children change anything? The answer is an emphatic NO! there is NO difference! Or at least there shouldn’t be! Truth is Truth – no matter the circumstances!
And there went great multitudes with him: and he turned, and said unto them, If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple. (Luke 14:25-26)
Jesus is, as always, extremely clear. If ANYONE comes to Him and puts anyone else above Him that person CANNOT be His disciple. That includes their father, their mother, their wife, their CHILDREN, their brother or sister and even their own life! So, just because there are children involved in this scenario doesn’t give the couple committing adultery the liberty to stay in that adulterous relationship and think they can be Christ’s disciple.
In chapter eleven of the book of Judges it talks about Jephthah the Gileadite. This chapter is very interesting and has a direct correlation to the subject at hands. Please bear with me as I start off with an attempt of a brief summary of the chapter.
Jephthah was the son of Gilead and had a harlot for a mom. He was a mighty man of valour. Gilead had a wife though and she bore him other sons. When the sons grew up they cast Jephthah out and he ended up in Tob. At some point though the elders of Gilead went to Jephthah to beg him for his help. He eventually agreed and went to war for them. God blessed him with victory! After the victory he went home to celebrate but because of a “vow” he made unto the Lord, before the battle began, his celebration was cut short.
What does this have to do with the subject at hand? Some may ask. I will get to that but first let me quote a couple verses.
For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope. (Romans 15:4)
Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. (I Corinthians 10:11)
Paul was given to be very clear that what was “written aforetime”, which to us is referred to as the Old Testament, was “written for our learning”. Why? So “that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope”. So, with that in mind let me quote the last part of the eleventh chapter of the book of Judges.
Then the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jephthah, and he passed over Gilead, and Manasseh, and passed over Mizpeh of Gilead, and from Mizpeh of Gilead he passed over unto the children of Ammon. And Jephthah vowed a vow unto the Lord, and said, If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands, then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.
So Jephthah passed over unto the children of Ammon to fight against them; and the Lord delivered them into his hands. And he smote them from Aroer, even till thou come to Minnith, even twenty cities, and unto the plain of the vineyards, with a very great slaughter. Thus the children of Ammon were subdued before the children of Israel.
And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances: and she was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter. And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes, and said, Alas, my daughter! thou hast brought me very low, and thou art one of them that trouble me: for I have opened my mouth unto the Lord, and I cannot go back. And she said unto him, My father, if thou hast opened thy mouth unto the Lord, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth; forasmuch as the Lord hath taken vengeance for thee of thine enemies, even of the children of Ammon. And she said unto her father, Let this thing be done for me: let me alone two months, that I may go up and down upon the mountains, and bewail my virginity, I and my fellows. And he said, Go. And he sent her away for two months: and she went with her companions, and bewailed her virginity upon the mountains. And it came to pass at the end of two months, that she returned unto her father, who did with her according to his vow which he had vowed: and she knew no man. And it was a custom in Israel, that the daughters of Israel went yearly to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in a year. (29-40)
In this study I just want to focus on two aspects from the chapter above. The “vow” that Jephthah made and the consequences of it.
Before Jephthah went into battle he did something that he would later regret. While the Spirit of the Lord was upon him, Jephthah “vowed a vow unto the Lord, ... (30a).” A “vow” is a promise. This “promise” that Jephthah made was not unto man but it was “unto the Lord”. A “promise” is not just empty words and it shall be kept especially if it is made to the Lord. I discussed this truth regarding a “vow” or “promise” in further detail in the original study “DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE”and it can be found in the “RECAP and WRAP UP” section.
Please notice that this “vow” was made while the Spirit of the Lord was upon him (29). So, this “vow” was not made on a whim of emotions. It was not made because of something he ate. NO! It was full of words inspired by the Lord and given to Jephthah to make. And it was very specific! Jephthah said: “If thou shalt without fail deliver the children of Ammon into mine hands, then it shall be, that whatsoever cometh forth of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return in peace from the children of Ammon, shall surely be the Lord’s, and I will offer it up for a burnt offering.”
The Lord gave the children of Ammon into Jephthah’s hands and gave him the victory and it was “with a very great slaughter”. When it was over Jephthah went home and his life would never be the same.
And Jephthah came to Mizpeh unto his house, and, behold, his daughter came out to meet him with timbrels and with dances: and she was his only child; beside her he had neither son nor daughter. (34)
Here we see Jephthah coming home and assume that he has celebrating on his mind. His daughter has heard of the victory and so she goes “out to meet him with timbrel and with dances”. She is going out to celebrate her dad’s great victory! She is completely ignorant of the “vow” that her dad made unto the Lord and all she wants to do is show her dad that she missed him and to celebrate his return.
And it came to pass, when he saw her, that he rent his clothes, and said, Alas, my daughter! thou hast brought me very low, and thou art one of them that trouble me: for I have opened my mouth unto the LORD, and I cannot go back. (35)
Jephthah was in such despair and agony that he tore his clothes! Here was his daughter, his ONLY child and under normal circumstances he should be very excited to see her just like she was to see him. But, instead he says to her “Alas, my daughter! Thou has brought me very low, and thou art one of them that trouble me”. It appears that Jephthah’s first reaction is to blame his daughter for coming out to him in celebration. But then he clarifies it when he says to her “for I have opened my mouth unto the LORD, and I cannot go back.”
It’s very interesting to me that no name is given to this girl. She is only referred to as “Jephthah’s daughter”. Nonetheless this girl shows more integrity than a lot of people do. She doesn’t complain but immediately supports her dad in whatever he vowed, even though she has no idea what it was.
And she said unto him, My father, if thou hast opened thy mouth unto the LORD, do to me according to that which hath proceeded out of thy mouth; forasmuch as the LORD hath taken vengeance for thee of thine enemies, even of the children of Ammon. (36)
She recognizes that it was the Lord who gave the victory to her dad and she also knows that whatever vow he made that he needs to keep it. She only has one request:
And she said unto her father, Let this thing be done for me: let me alone two months, that I may go up and down upon the mountains, and bewail my virginity, I and my fellows. (37)
This request kind of gives us an approximation of her age. In those days girls were usually given in marriage between the ages of twelve to fifteen. So, I would approximate that she is probably at least thirteen or fourteen. Even though it still doesn’t say that she knew exactly what her father’s vow was it appears that she had an idea what it entailed. Even still she is bowing in submission to him and only wants to put it off for two months so that she can “bewail” her “virginity”. The word “bewail” means “to weep”. So, she wanted to take the time to weep, with her friends, over her virginity and not being married yet.
At the end of the two months she returned. Again, to me this is a huge sign of integrity of any adult believer let alone from a child! After she returned it says that he (Jephthah) “did with her according to his vow which he had vowed”. See Leviticus chapter one for all that the “burnt offering” entailed.
Because of what happened it says that “it was a custom in Israel, that the daughters of Israel went yearly to lament the daughter of Jephthah the Gileadite four days in a year. (39b-40)” So, this had a lasting impact on not only Jephthah but for Israel in general.
The topic of this section is: “WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?”. This man, because of his vow, sacrificed his only daughter and yet people have the audacity to say that someone who claims to be a believer should reject their original “vow of marriage” and stay in an adulterous relationship because of their kids. God forbid! May it never be! Because IF one has been married before, their first “vow” over-rides and nullifies their second “so-called vow”.
We as parents teach our children to not lie and to keep their word. What if we by example did not keep our word and our children observed it and knew it? Would that not disqualify the importance of keeping your word? Would that not show our children that what we say has no value? And yet there are many people out there that see no wrong in not fulfilling their “vow” to their spouse and by not doing so make a mockery of it!
Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues without right. (Proverbs 16:8)
The reason behind bringing this chapter up is NOT to glorify what happened to Jephthah’s daughter! The reason is to emphasize his “vow” and him keeping it at whatever the cost was. And that “cost” was VERY huge to him! Compare that to today’s men and women who say a “vow” to their spouse and if the going gets tough they have absolutely NO problem with completely disregarding it. And most are actually “proud” of it!
“I didn’t realize that divorce & remarriage was the unpardonable sin.”
I have heard this comment used for justifying the act of getting married after a divorce or marrying one who was previously divorced and their spouse is still living. Right off the bat this comment “I didn’t realize that divorce & remarriage was the unpardonable sin” says something to me. What it says to me is that this person recognizes that “divorce & remarriage” is sin and yet wants to justify it somehow. And if they do happen to see it as sin and they ask for forgiveness, they assume that it will be granted unto them and they can continue to live in that lifestyle of sin. What this person doesn’t appear to be taking into consideration is that if one is divorced and remarried and has been convinced by the Holy Spirit that the life they are living is sin then they will ask for forgiveness. With that forgiveness there will come a desire to not live in that specific sin anymore and they will be convinced to remove themselves from that situation and therefore they will physically “stop committing adultery”. This is not something that God just winks at or looks the other way.
There is only one reference to what has been termed the “unpardonable” or “unforgivable” sin. But there are three views of that same reference: Matthew 12:31-23; Mark 3:28-30; Luke 12:10.
Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men. And whosoever speaketh a word against the Son of man, it shall be forgiven him: but whosoever speaketh against the Holy Ghost, it shall not be forgiven him, neither in this world, neither in the world to come. (Matthew 12:31-32)
Please notice that the “unpardonable” sin has to do with “blaspheming the Holy Ghost”. It has absolutely nothing to do with “divorce & remarriage”. And to me, to throw out a comment like this is a horrid misuse of scripture and an attempt at manipulation.
“So does this mean that I have to be alone for the rest of my life? God wouldn’t want that!”
This is a comment that is thrown around in the attempt of justifying the act of getting married after a divorce or marrying one who was previously divorced and their spouse is still living. When this comment is used it is solely based on emotions but has no scriptural grounding. My first thought with this comment is: If someone truly believes scripture why would they be asking this question? Scripture is very clear that if you marry a divorced person you are committing adultery. Based upon this truth, let me ask the million dollar question, “Is the price for committing sin worth not being alone?”
For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the LORD, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. (I Corinthians 7:7-11)
I touched on a portion of these verses above but felt it necessary to briefly revisit them. Paul is very clear here that those that are unmarried (widowers) or widowed should abide the same as him, which means to stay single. He then gives a “but” to his statement with “But if they cannot contain, let them marry:” Then he says to the married “I command...Let not the wife depart from her husband:” Then he finishes his thoughts with another “But” saying “But and if she (the wife) depart let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.” [bold emphasis added] Here we see that if the wife depart, she CANNOT remarry and the husband CANNOT put her away. So, by default they both (husband and wife) MUST remain single.
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
The argument that has been thrown at me regarding this verse is: Because there is no man that hasn’t looked upon a woman to lust after her then we are all already committing adultery. Maybe I am misunderstanding but how I understand what they are saying is this: Since every man is already guilty of committing adultery because at one time or another they have looked upon a woman to lust after her. Then you might as well live it up and actually commit that sin by marrying a divorced spouse or getting married after being divorced.
I do believe that Paul addressed this in his usual manner – straight on:
What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin, that grace may abound? God forbid. How shall we, that are dead to sin, live any longer therein? (Romans 6:1-2) [bold emphasis added]
Just because we are all sinners it doesn’t give us an excuse or a free pass to go out and commit sin willingly. One who has been born from above will NEVER look at sin like it is a free-for-all! And those that have the audacity to use Matthew 5:28 as a justification for marrying someone who was divorced or marrying someone after they have been divorced is making a mockery of God’s grace!
I fully agree with this statement! The Bible, better yet the written word of God, was written for His children and can ONLY be understood by one who has been given eyes to see and ears to hear by the grace of God. And is taught by the Holy Spirit! (John 16:13)
These verses, and a host of many more, prove that this statement is true in general. I have included a couple from Paul, but you can see a similar greeting in his other letters. One from James, one from Peter and one from John.
Paul, called to be an apostle of Jesus Christ through the will of God, and Sosthenes our brother, unto the church of God which is at Corinth, to them that are sanctified in Christ Jesus, called to be saints, with all that in every place call upon the name of Jesus Christ our LORD, both theirs and ours: Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the LORD Jesus Christ. (I Corinthians 1:1-3)
Paul, an apostle, (not of men, neither by man, but by Jesus Christ, and God the Father, who raised him from the dead;) and all the brethren which are with me, unto the churches of Galatia: Grace be to you and peace from God the Father, and from our LORD Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins, that he might deliver us from this present evil world, according to the will of God and our Father: To whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen. (Galatians 1:1-5)
James, a servant of God and of the LORD Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad, greeting. My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. (James 1:1-3)
Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, to the strangers scattered throughout Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia,elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through sanctification of the Spirit, unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ: Grace unto you, and peace, be multiplied. (I Peter 1:1-2)
My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous:And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world. (I John 2:1-2)
You can’t argue that God’s written word is ONLY for His children! But, I disagree with how this statement has been used in conjunction with the “Divorce & Remarriage” aspect. When someone uses this statement in this reference I understand it to mean they believe that if someone was divorced or divorced and remarried before their conversion then NONE of the commands found in Scripture including divorce and remarriage apply to them.
Let me ask a pertinent question. When does a child of grace become a child of grace? Below we read from three separate men who boldly proclaimed that they were separated from their mother’s womb and even before that. These are personal examples where these men were speaking about themselves because of the revelation of God concerning this truth.
But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother’s womb, and called me by his grace, to reveal his Son in me, ... (Galatians 1:15-16a) [bold emphasis added]
Listen, O isles, unto me; and hearken, ye people, from far; The LORD hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name. (Isaiah 49:1) [bold emphasis added]
Then the word of the LORD came unto me, saying, Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations. (Jeremiah 1:4-5) [bold emphasis added]
Scripture is very clear that at the mouth of at the least two witnesses and better yet three shall the matter be a established or stand as truth.
One witness shall not rise up against a man for any iniquity, or for any sin, in any sin that he sinneth: at the mouth of two witnesses, or at the mouth of three witnesses, shall the matter be established. (Deuteronomy 19:15)
This is the third time I am coming to you. In the mouth of two or three witnesses shall every word be established. (II Corinthians 13:1)
Taking all these verses into consideration. We clearly see that the truth is that these men mentioned above were separated from and before their mother’s womb, and the child of grace doesn’t doubt God’s word, then it can be easily stated and believed that this is true for ALL of God’s children.
Next we see Jesus stating the same truth but in a different way.
When the Son of man shall come in his glory, and all the holy angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his glory: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divideth his sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: (Matthew 25:31-34) [bold emphasis added]
This is from the parable of the sheep and the goats. The left side was where the goats were placed. The right side was where the sheep were placed. There are no goats on the right side just like there are no sheep on the left! Jesus turns to the sheep on “his right hand” and says to them and only them “Come, ye blessed of my Father...” If He were to stop right there that is enough to make a grown man weep with joy! (That blessed statement should be all that the believer is hoping to hear!) But, He doesn’t stop there. He continues with the glorious truth that those to whom He is speaking were His from all eternity! He says: “inherit the kingdom”. But, that kingdom is not something that is in the making, NO! it is a kingdom that has been “prepared for you from the foundation of the world”.
Let me end with another example of this same truth from Paul.
According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love: Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will, to the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved. (Ephesians 1:4-6) [bold and underline emphasis added]
Paul is stressing here that the child of grace was “chosen” “in him (Christ) BEFORE the foundation of the world...” [bold and all caps emphasis added]
So, here we have five witnesses to this wonderful, glorious, magnificent, amazing truth. The child of grace has ALWAYS been a child of grace from before being in their mother’s womb. At the perfect time, the LORD reveals to them who they are and thus they are born again or converted. But, just to stress this point, they ALWAYS were God’s children even before being converted. That is why Paul can honestly say these things in the following verses and it be true and not false humility!
This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief. (I Timothy 1:15)
I fully believe that when Paul calls himself a sinner that he is referring to all of his past, present and future sins.
Unto me, who am less than the least of all saints, is this grace given, that I should preach among the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ; (Ephesians 3:8)
For I am the least of the apostles, that am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God. But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me. (I Corinthians 15:9-10) [bold emphasis added]
Though I might also have confidence in the flesh. If any other man thinketh that he hath whereof he might trust in the flesh, I more: Circumcised the eighth day, of the stock of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, an Hebrew of the Hebrews; as touching the law, a Pharisee; concerning zeal, persecuting the church; touching the righteousness which is in the law, blameless. But what things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ. Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my LORD: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ, (Philippians 3:4-8) [bold emphasis added]
In two of the three passages I quoted above Paul makes a direct link back to before his conversion. And I believe even in the first passage quoted above there is an indirect link to the same incident. What I am referring to is in bold print in the passages. Paul, persecuted the church of God and was proud of it at the time thinking he was doing the work and will of God. In the quote from I Corinthians Paul calls himself the “least of the apostles”. Why? He makes it abundantly clear. It was “because I persecuted the church of God”. In the quote from Ephesians he calls himself “the least of all saints”. I can’t help but believe that even though he doesn’t mention why, that this past action has a lot to do with it.
So, no one can claim ignorance as a loophole to continue in sin. When the LORD convicts one of His children of their sin that child wants nothing to do with that sin anymore. The believer grieves over their sin; past, present and future!
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man’s wife go aside, and commit a trespass against him, and a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, and be kept close, and she be defiled, and there be no witness against her, neither she be taken with the manner; and the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled: Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest, and he shall bring her offering for her, the tenth part of an ephah of barley meal; he shall pour no oil upon it, nor put frankincense thereon; for it is an offering of jealousy, an offering of memorial, bringing iniquity to remembrance. And the priest shall bring her near, and set her before the LORD: And the priest shall take holy water in an earthen vessel; and of the dust that is in the floor of the tabernacle the priest shall take, and put it into the water: And the priest shall set the woman before the LORD, and uncover the woman’s head, and put the offering of memorial in her hands, which is the jealousy offering: and the priest shall have in his hand the bitter water that causeth the curse: And the priest shall charge her by an oath, and say unto the woman, If no man have lain with thee, and if thou hast not gone aside to uncleanness with another instead of thy husband, be thou free from this bitter water that causeth the curse: But if thou hast gone aside to another instead of thy husband, and if thou be defiled, and some man have lain with thee beside thine husband: Then the priest shall charge the woman with an oath of cursing, and the priest shall say unto the woman, The LORD make thee a curse and an oath among thy people, when the LORD doth make thy thigh to rot, and thy belly to swell; and this water that causeth the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make thy belly to swell, and thy thigh to rot: And the woman shall say, Amen, amen. And the priest shall write these curses in a book, and he shall blot them out with the bitter water: And he shall cause the woman to drink the bitter water that causeth the curse: and the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter. Then the priest shall take the jealousy offering out of the woman’s hand, and shall wave the offering before the LORD, and offer it upon the altar: And the priest shall take an handful of the offering, even the memorial thereof, and burn it upon the altar, and afterward shall cause the woman to drink the water. And when he hath made her to drink the water, then it shall come to pass, that, if she be defiled, and have done trespass against her husband, that the water that causeth the curse shall enter into her, and become bitter, and her belly shall swell, and her thigh shall rot: and the woman shall be a curse among her people. And if the woman be not defiled, but be clean; then she shall be free, and shall conceive seed. This is the law of jealousies, when a wife goeth aside to another instead of her husband, and is defiled; or when the spirit of jealousy cometh upon him, and he be jealous over his wife, and shall set the woman before the LORD, and the priest shall execute upon her all this law. Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity. (Numbers 5:11-31)
I was sent these verses above from a friend with this comment regarding them: “Clearly, the man is not guilty of anything in this matter; so, this leaves him clear of the marriage vows with his expelled wife, and allows him the freedom to marry again. To bring any charge or restriction against the husband would be punishing him for something he did not do.”
Let’s take a little time going through this passage of Scripture and see if the comment above can be backed up or proven by this passage.
And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, Speak unto the children of Israel, and say unto them, If any man’s wife go aside, and commit a trespass against him, and a man lie with her carnally, and it be hid from the eyes of her husband, and be kept close, and she be defiled, and there be no witness against her, neither she be taken with the manner; (11-13)
So, right in the beginning we see that the setting of this passage is that a wife goes out and commits adultery with another man. Then she gets away with it because she did it secretly and no one saw her.
And the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be defiled: or if the spirit of jealousy come upon him, and he be jealous of his wife, and she be not defiled: Then shall the man bring his wife unto the priest, and he shall bring her offering for her, the tenth part of an ephah of barley meal; he shall pour no oil upon it, nor put frankincense thereon; for it is an offering of jealousy, an offering of memorial, bringing iniquity to remembrance. (14-15)
The wife thought she got away with it without getting caught. But, the husband suspects something has happened. He can’t quite put his finger on it and has no proof but he is still suspicious. He is to take his wife to the priest. But, with this verse it even goes one step further. Even if the wife has NOT done any thing to defile herself, yet the husband is suspicious of something he is still to take his wife to the priest. He is also to take a “tenth of an ephah of barley meal” which is to be plain. This will be for the “offering of jealousy” and the “offering of memorial”.
The priest brings her in and sets her before the Lord. He then takes “holy water” which is water from the laver which has been set apart for sacred uses. He puts it in an “earthen vessel”, a container made from the earth, most likely a clay pot of some sort. He then takes some “dust of the floor of the tabernacle” and adds it to the water. Scripture doesn’t specify how much but one would think that a pinch would do. The priest then uncovers her head, possibly to show her nakedness and shame before the Lord.
But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven. (I Corinthians 11:5)
Judge in yourselves: is it comely that a woman pray unto God uncovered? (I Corinthians 11:13)
He then places the offering in her hands, possibly to show that it is personal. The priest has her swear an oath that she is innocent of being defiled (he goes through a very specific process but it isn’t important here for this study). Then the priest explains the curse that will come upon her if she is not telling the truth. She agrees with an “Amen, Amen”. The priest then writes down the curses in a book (script) and then the words of the curses are blotted out by the water which is now called “bitter water”. She then drinks the water and if she was telling the truth and she was faithful then nothing would happen to her and she would go on and bear children. I take it that this was given to her as a reward for bearing this open and public shame even though she was innocent of the charge. If she was not telling the truth then the curse of her belly swelling and her thigh rotting would come to pass. And she would be a curse among her people.
Then the passage ends with this verse:
Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity, and this woman shall bear her iniquity. (Numbers 5:31)
This is where I believe my friend has come to the conclusion that he has. Let me state what he has said again:
“Clearly, the man is not guilty of anything in this matter; so, this leaves him clear of the marriage vows with his expelled wife, and allows him the freedom to marry again. To bring any charge or restriction against the husband would be punishing him for something he did not do.”
From verse 31 I can agree with my friend’s comments regarding the man not being guilty in this matter. But, I don’t agree with the rest of the comment. Does this verse say anything regarding the marriage vows? Does this verse give permission for the man to marry again? I sure don’t see either of those in this verse. The first part of this verse says “Then shall the man be guiltless from iniquity,...”. What I understand this to mean is that the man who brings his wife to the priest for a public display of shame is to bear no guilt for doing it because she in fact was guilty of the trespass. But, it has absolutely nothing to do with the marriage vows. This verse taken as it stands does not give permission for the husband to get remarried to another spouse. Scripture is extremely clear that the ONLY sin-free option of getting remarried is IF the spouse is deceased!
What this passage does not specifically mention is what was to happen to the woman after she was found guilty? Verse 31 ends with: “...and this woman shall bear her iniquity.” To me this “infers” but doesn’t specifically say what these next two verses proclaim.
And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. (Leviticus 20:10)
If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel. (Deuteronomy 22:22)
Taking these two verses into consideration, I conclude that IF the woman was found guilty then she would be taken out and be “put to death”. IF that is truly the case here, and I say IF because like I said above the verse 31 does not specify either way, then the man would be free to remarry. But, that is ONLY because his spouse is now deceased. But, IF she was not “put to death” then I don’t believe this passage gives freedom or liberty to the husband to put her away and marry another.
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. (Jeremiah 3:8)
Thus saith the LORD, Where is the bill of your mother’s divorcement, whom I have put away? or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away. (Isaiah 50:1)
These two verses have been thrown at me numerous times to try and justify divorce and remarriage. And here are a couple quotes of what has been said to me about these verses as well.
“Suppose a man finds that his wife has committed adultery and divorces her. Can he remarry her if he falls in love with her again, even though she is still committing adultery?”(VII)
“God gave Israel a bill of divorcement and married another.”(VIII)
I find a couple of things quite interesting in these two comments. With the first one, this person is referencing Israel being the wife and God being the husband. Where in Scripture is it “allowed” to get a divorce because of adultery? It isn’t there. In fact if one is guilty of adultery they were to be taken out and stoned to death. With the second comment it makes me wonder if this person understood the full spectrum of their comment. If God gave Israel a bill of divorcement and then married another, according to His word, He is committing adultery. To even think a thing goes to show a lack of understanding of God’s holiness and uprightness!
The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? she is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot. And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it. And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks. And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah hath not turned unto me with her whole heart, but feignedly, saith the LORD. And the LORD said unto me, The backsliding Israel hath justified herself more than treacherous Judah. (Jeremiah 3:6-11)
This is the immediate context of verse 8. We start off with a time frame of when this conversation between the LORD and Jeremiah took place. It was when Josiah was king. He was king during the years of 642 to 610 B.C. If you notice though that the references to Israel are in the past tense. As some examples: “played the harlot”, “after she had done these things”, “I had put her away”, “given her a bill of divorcement” [underline emphasis added]. So, I don’t believe what the LORD told Jeremiah about Israel was taking place at that precise time but had occurred at an earlier time. And you can’t deny that Israel had committed adultery, harlotry and whoredoms from the very beginning.
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also. (Jeremiah 3:8)
This verse is the crux of the whole topic here. So, what is it saying? It is saying that Israel had committed adultery for a multitude of reasons and the LORD had put her away and then gave her a bill of divorce.
What does it mean when it says that God “had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce”? Here is what I was referring to above when I made mention that the conversation that Jeremiah had with the LORD was in reference to a time period before. The book of second Kings records the incident that the LORD is referring to. This took place around the year 721 B.C., which puts it approximately 100 years prior to this “conversation” that Jeremiah is having with God because Jeremiah was a prophet between the years of 642-610. I could simply post one verse to show what I mean but so that you get the full extent of what took place and why it took place I am going to quote the whole incident. Please take the time to read it all.
In the ninth year of Hoshea the king of Assyria took Samaria, and carried Israel away into Assyria, and placed them in Halah and in Habor by the river of Gozan, and in the cities of the Medes. For so it was, that the children of Israel had sinned against the LORD their God, which had brought them up out of the land of Egypt, from under the hand of Pharaoh king of Egypt, and had feared other gods, and walked in the statutes of the heathen, whom the LORD cast out from before the children of Israel, and of the kings of Israel, which they had made. And the children of Israel did secretly those things that were not right against the LORD their God, and they built them high places in all their cities, from the tower of the watchmen to the fenced city. And they set them up images and groves in every high hill, and under every green tree: And there they burnt incense in all the high places, as did the heathen whom the LORD carried away before them; and wrought wicked things to provoke the LORD to anger: For they served idols, whereof the LORD had said unto them, Ye shall not do this thing. Yet the LORD testified against Israel, and against Judah, by all the prophets, and by all the seers, saying, Turn ye from your evil ways, and keep my commandments and my statutes, according to all the law which I commanded your fathers, and which I sent to you by my servants the prophets. Notwithstanding they would not hear, but hardened their necks, like to the neck of their fathers, that did not believe in the LORD their God. And they rejected his statutes, and his covenant that he made with their fathers, and his testimonies which he testified against them; and they followed vanity, and became vain, and went after the heathen that were round about them, concerning whom the LORD had charged them, that they should not do like them. And they left all the commandments of the LORD their God, and made them molten images, even two calves, and made a grove, and worshipped all the host of heaven, and served Baal. And they caused their sons and their daughters to pass through the fire, and used divination and enchantments, and sold themselves to do evil in the sight of the LORD, to provoke him to anger. Therefore the LORD was very angry with Israel, and removed them out of his sight: there was none left but the tribe of Judah only. Also Judah kept not the commandments of the LORD their God, but walked in the statutes of Israel which they made. And the LORD rejected all the seed of Israel, and afflicted them, and delivered them into the hand of spoilers, until he had cast them out of his sight. For he rent Israel from the house of David; and they made Jeroboam the son of Nebat king: and Jeroboam drave Israel from following the LORD, and made them sin a great sin. For the children of Israel walked in all the sins of Jeroboam which he did; they departed not from them; Until the LORD removed Israel out of his sight, as he had said by all his servants the prophets. So was Israel carried away out of their own land to Assyria unto this day. (II Kings 17:6-23)
Yes, scripture is clear concerning Israel that the LORD had “put her away, and given her a bill of divorce”. But, I don’t believe that was done in the traditional sense of “putting away” or “divorce”. When I think of “divorce” it is to get rid of the spouse and want nothing to do with them anymore. Think about this for a minute. The LORD brought Hoshea, the king of Samaria, to take Israel into captivity. Why? It was to discipline them because of their harlotry and adultery against Him. This was a form of love for His “true” people. We cannot forget that there is a “natural” Israel and a “spiritual” Israel.
Not as though the word of God hath taken none effect. For they are not all Israel, which are of Israel: Neither, because they are the seed of Abraham, are they all children: but, In Isaac shall thy seed be called. (Romans 9:6-7)
Natural Israel was taken captive because of their sin. But spiritual Israel only was along for the ride. These verses apply to spiritual Israel.
My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth. (Proverbs 3:11-12)
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes. (Proverbs 13:24)
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. (Hebrews 12:6)
If the LORD had truly “divorced” His people then why would He say in these verses after verse 8:
Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the LORD; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the LORD, and I will not keep anger for ever. (Jeremiah 3:12) [bold emphasis added]
Turn, O backsliding children, saith the LORD; for I am married unto you: and I will take you one of a city, and two of a family, and I will bring you to Zion: (Jeremiah 3:14) [bold emphasis added]
This is actually where Isaiah chapter 50 verse one comes in as a commentary of what actually happened here. And I want to thank my inquirer for bringing this chapter up because before it was brought up I was not given to see this. Isaiah was used of the Lord as a prophet between the years of 786 through 644 and then Jeremiah took his place.
Thus saith the LORD, Where is the bill of your mother’s divorcement, whom I have put away? or which of my creditors is it to whom I have sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away. (Isaiah 50:1)
When I first read it I had to do a double-take. Because I couldn’t believe what I was reading. I don’t know if the inquirer for this chapter actually took the time to read it or if they simply got the question from someone else and just directly asked me about it before looking at it themselves. The only reason I say that is because this verse is actually proclaiming the contrary. The LORD is asking “Where is the bill of your mother’s divorcement”? He is asking them “to whom did I sell you to”?
When a bill of divorcement was written up it was handed directly to the wife. This way she would have proof. So, this is the LORD challenging them to show proof that He divorced Israel. He is challenging them to show proof that it was He who sold them into slavery. Then He clarifies that it was NOT He but it was they who sold themselves because of all their transgressions. She is the one who couldn’t handle being tied down to just one and thus played the harlot and then paid the price for it.
I believe I answered the statements that I gave in the beginning of this section. I am sure that much more could be said here but hopefully this has shown that these two verses are not an excuse or justification that divorce & remarriage is okay.
This is a question(viii) I was asked and the immediate answer the person gave right after it:
Question: What constituted a marriage in The Old Testament as well as The New Testament?
Answer: It was when a man and a woman laid together.
Please take note of the order in how these verses present a marriage.
And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord. (Genesis 4:1)
And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her. And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast. And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her. (Genesis 29:21-23)
And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also. And Laban gave to Rachel his daughter Bilhah his handmaid to be her maid. And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years. (Genesis 29:28-30)
If any man take a wife, and go in unto her,... (Deuteronomy 22:13a)
Do any of these verses say in the slightest, “he went in to her, or he knew her and then she became his wife”? Absolutely not! They say completely the opposite. They were husband and wife first and foremost and then the “consummation” of the marriage in the act of sexual intimacy occurred.
Does Genesis chapter 4 verse one say “And Adam knew Eve and she became his wife”? NO! It says “And Adam knew Eve his wife” or better yet it means “And Adam knew Eve because she was his wife”.
Genesis chapter 29 makes it clear that Leah was already Jacob’s wife because he demands that he give her to him since his commitment had been fulfilled. Even though Jacob was under the impression that He was getting Rachel, Leah became his wife first. Laban brought Leah to Jacob and the two of them consummated their marriage by Jacob going “in unto her”. Jacob was upset because Laban tricked him but after a week with Leah as his wife Laban brought Rachel as another wife for Jacob and they consummated their marriage by Jacob also going “in unto her”.
If what my correspondent said is correct then Judah had to have married his daughter-in-law Tamar. I would assume most everyone is familiar with what happened but let me briefly go over it just to give a little background. This incident is recorded in the book of Genesis chapter 38 verses 6 through 26. I would highly recommend you take the time to read these twenty verses!
Tamar was given in marriage to Judah’s firstborn son whose name was Er. Before Tamar conceived Er was slain by the Lord. So Judah said to Onan, his second son, to go in unto her so as to raise up seed to his brother. But Onan was rebellious and spilled his seed so as to not get her pregnant. Because of that the Lord slew Onan as well. Judah had a third son named Shelah but he was still too young at the time. So, he promised him to Tamar but she had to wait for him to be of age while staying at her father’s house. But, Judah had no intention on giving her Shelah. Tamar got tired of waiting and found out that Judah was going to be in a certain place. She went there and dressed as a harlot and Judah went in unto her. To pay for the deed, he promised her a kid (young goat) but she also asked for his signet (his seal), his bracelets and his staff. She conceived from this one incident. When she started to show and the family found out she was with child Judah called for her to be set on fire and burnt for her whoredom. When she was brought forth she sent those items that he gave to her and said that she was with child by the person whom these items belong to. He immediately recognized the items and proclaimed her “more righteous than I” because he had no intention on giving her his son but she still ended up raising seed to her first husband. Did this act “constitute” a marriage between the two. NO! In fact verse 26 ends with “And he knew her again no more.”
I wanted to bring another little tidbit to end this section with in the hopes that it will cause you to think a little more. IF the inquirer were to be correct in their understanding I have a quick question. Would that not completely nullify the sin of “fornication”? What I mean is that IF simply having sex equals or constitutes getting married then the act of “fornication” actually becomes the act of “marriage”. And IF that were the case then WHY is the word “fornication” even in Scripture describing sin? Also, take the example above with Tamar. WHY were they going to take her out and set her on fire to burn her for her whoredom IF the act of sexual intercourse constitutes a marriage.
This is just yet another reason WHY this so-called argument has no bearing on the subject of “Divorce & Remarriage”.
If you are not convinced that the truth has been proclaimed above (from Scripture) then please take a little more time to ponder these scenarios. Because IF what I have been given to proclaim above is incorrect and men and women can get a divorce and marry again without fear of committing adultery than these scenarios must also fit that category by default. If you have any objection to any of these scenarios, please ask yourself “why”. “Why is this scenario not okay but the others are?”
As you read these scenarios, please keep in the forefront of you mind this passage of Scripture:
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the LORD Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. (I Corinthians 6:9-11)
SCENARIO NUMBER ONE:
A man and woman are living together and have a child or children. They refuse to get married. At some point they believe they are saved and converted and start believing in God. When asked if they are going to be married they say “No” they will not. Can they stay “living together” without getting married and you still fellowship them as brethren?
SCENARIO NUMBER TWO:
A same sex couple are “legally” married. They have adopted a child or brought one into the relationship from a previous relationship. At some point they believe they are saved and converted and start believing in God. They see nothing wrong with their relationship and refuse to dissolve the “marriage”. Can they stay “married” and continue in their previous lifestyle and you still fellowship them as brethren?
One objection to this should be very clear right away. The objection should be that God condemns homosexuality and thus this so-called “legal” marriage between the two is not a true marriage. I would agree one hundred percent with that statement. But, you can’t say that is true and yet call a divorced person who got married again a “valid” marriage either. One can’t be true while the other one false.
SCENARIO NUMBER THREE:
A couple start dating and end up moving in together. Now this couple already claims to believe in God and call themselves “Christian”. Can they continue to live together and commit fornication and you still fellowship them as brethren?
SCENARIO NUMBER FOUR:
A man is leading bible studies for your group. You find out that he has a problem with alcohol and has been drunk many times during some of the studies. He believes that he hears from God better when he is drunk than when he is sober. Would you let this man continue to lead bible studies in his current condition?
SCENARIO NUMBER FIVE:
A man is leading bible studies for your group. You attend one of them and during the course of the study he pulls out a marijuana pipe and starts smoking it. He justifies it by stating that he hears and sees the truth more clearly when he is under the influence of this than when he is not. Would you let this man continue to lead bible studies in his current condition?
SCENARIO NUMBER SIX: A man is a leader in your church. This man is currently living with a female but they are not married. They refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. Would you let this continue to lead this church?
SCENARIO NUMBER SEVEN:
You have a loved one who is dying of cancer. Your loved one is in extreme pain and is on some strong narcotic for the pain. You ask your pastor/elder to visit her and pray for her. When he goes, he does pray for her but he also tries to swindle out some pain pills from her because he is secretly addicted to them. Would you let this continue in the church?
SCENARIO NUMBER EIGHT:
A man has been a member of the local church for years. He has been married for over 10 years. You just recently found out that he has been committing adultery for the last year with another member of the church who is single. Would you let this continue without confronting him?
SCENARIO NUMBER NINE:
A man has been a member of the local church for years. He has been married for over 10 years. You recently were out to dinner and noticed him with another woman acting like a couple in love. Would you let this continue without confronting him?
SCENARIO NUMBER TEN:
A woman has been a member of the local church for years. She has been married for over 5 years. You recently were out to dinner and noticed her with another man acting like someone on a blind date or just on their first date. Would you let this continue without confronting her?
SCENARIO NUMBER ELEVEN:
A man has been a member of the local church for years. He is single. Because of that he devotes a lot of his time to church activities and gatherings and just helping around the church. You just recently found out though from another member that he secretly sees prostitutes on a regular basis. Would you let this continue without confronting him?
I can’t think of a better way to wrap up this study then with a few more verses that I believe envelop what I have been attempting to promote throughout this study.
Let me start off with a verse that came straight out of the Lord Jesus’ mouth while He was here on earth.
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. (Matthew 16:24)
This same saying is also recorded in the Gospel of Luke chapter nine verse twenty-three and Jesus said something similar as recorded in the Gospel of Mark chapter ten verse twenty-one to a man who had great possessions. This verse is far more encompassing than just this little study because it encompasses all of our daily life! We, in our flesh, tend to get caught up with our “rights”. We, in our flesh, think we have the “right” to a certain lifestyle. We, in our flesh, think we have a “right” to this or to that. But, in reality we, as believers, have absolutely NO rights of our own! If we are a believer then this world is not our home!
Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. (I John 2:15)
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul; (I Peter 2:11)
If we are Christ’s then we are “to deny” self. The Greek word for “let him deny” means to “deny utterly, i.e., disown, abstain”. It is a verb which shows action and it is in the “imperative mood” which means that it is a “demand”. Thus it is imperative that you do so! To me the verse should read more like: “If any man will come after me, he must deny himself,…” Taking that into consideration if we insert the words describing what this Greek word means this section of the verse would say: “If any man will come after me, he must disown himself,…”, or “If any man will come after me, he must utterly deny himself,…”, or “If any man will come after me, he must abstain from himself,…” Yes, they are saying the same thing but I believe more pointed! Now, in regards to this study if those who claim to believe in Christ actually lived by the words “let him deny himself” then they wouldn’t be trying to justify sin at all! Let me ask a question as an example: Is someone truly living a life of “denying self” IF they will stay in an adulterous (sinful) relationship because they don’t want to give up their lifestyle, because it’s more convenient, because it’s just easier to stay, or because they don’t want to have to explain it to others? NO! By them staying in that relationship they are in fact doing completely the opposite of “denying self”! They are in all actuality “feeding self!”
Secondly I’d like to quote a verse from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthian brethren:
Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. (I Corinthians 10:31)
This verse in first Corinthians fits into each and every section above.
And lastly, I quoted these verses above but wanted to focus on another aspect of it here.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. (Galatians 5:19-21)
This list includes seventeen sinful actions but I don’t believe it is all encompassing. I say that because of the words “and such like”. There is one action I am interested in for this study and that is “adultery”. I believe that in this study I was given to pen the truth about how when someone gets remarried to someone else after being divorced or marries someone who has been divorced they are actively committing adultery. In our verses above the last part says “they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.” The word “do” in the phrase “do such things” is in the present tense and active voice which means it is not a one-time thing but it is a lifestyle of the person. And it is in reference to the list that Paul just gave. So, we can rephrase this last section with taking out the words “these things” and adding in the action without changing the meaning whatsoever. For example:
“They which are doing ADULTERY shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”
“They which are doing FORNICATION shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”
“They which are doing IDOLATRY shall not inherit the kingdom of God.”
You can’t get any more straight forward than this! And Paul says essentially the same exact thing to the Corinthian brethren in his first letter to them:
Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. (I Corinthians 6:9-11)
Paul gives eleven examples of sin in this selection. He starts off stating that “the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God”. And with this one also, we can rephrase these verses to show the actions separately without changing the meaning whatsoever. For example:
“Neither shall FORNICATORS inherit the kingdom of God.”
“Neither shall IDOLATERS inherit the kingdom of God.”
“Neither shall ADULTERERS inherit the kingdom of God.”
“Neither shall DRUNKARDS inherit the kingdom of God.”
These are some very strong statements that Paul was given to make. If someone is currently a drunkard then they are considered unrighteous and therefore they shall not inherit the kingdom of God. If someone is currently in an adulterous relationship then they are considered unrighteous and therefore they shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Thankfully though Paul finishes up with a statement of hope: “such WERE some of you, but ye ARE washed, but ye ARE sanctified, but ye ARE justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God.” [bold and capital letters added]. If you ARE all these things then you will not go back to what you WERE!
I welcome comments, concerns or disagreements. But, I ask that if you contact me that you keep your arguments or concerns confined to what Scripture has to say. And with that, please don’t just send a verse thinking that it is all that is needed. If you feel it contradicts something that is in this study please take the time to explain yourself. If you don’t explain yourself, then how I interpret it is usually one of three ways:
I am more than willing to have a discussion (not a debate) with anyone. Though, I want to be up front that if the correspondence includes name calling of any sort I will not respond.
Thomas R. Adams
AsweetSavor@mail.com
October 2023
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I. ALL Scripture quoted is from the King James Version unless otherwise noted.
II. I will say though on the other hand that I have received a “few” emails with someone disagreeing and they have attempted to show why they disagree, which I greatly appreciated. And in fact the third version of the original study was updated because of someone pointing out something that I missed.
III. A perfect example of this is the original study “DIVORCE & REMARRIAGE”. At the time of writing this supplement (2023) I have finished the 6th version of the original study. If I was perfect there would be no need for any revisions. But, as the Lord has seen fit, He is continually showing me different aspects of this study. But, one thing has remained the same and that is: “If one is married after a divorce or married a divorced spouse they are committing adultery.” And He continually re-emphasizes that truth to me over and over again!
IV. Unless the terms “he” or “his” are referencing a specific person they are used in general terms meaning either gender.
V. When a divorce is mentioned it always means when their spouse that they divorced is STILL LIVING.
VI. This was a question posed to me in a personal correspondence. I have not asked permission to use the person’s name. When the question was asked there was no reference to any Scripture. It was simply a question that was posed to me. My first thought went to Hosea but with that book there was no dorce, so that wasn’t it. After that my answer was, “Why would anyone in their right mind WANT to go back to a wife who is still cheating on him?” Then my correspondent pointed me to Jeremiah chapter 3 and said that was what this chapter was about.
VII. This was a statement referring to Jeremiah chapter 3 in a personal correspondence. I have not asked permission to use the person’s name. This person made the statement but then after actually reading the chapter they redacted their statement saying that they did not see that in this chapter at all.
VIII. This question and answer was posed to me in a personal correspondence. I have not asked permission to use the person’s name.